


It IS the Size That Matters

by Usedtobehmc



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Blow Jobs, M/M, Quote Unquote, a match made in heaven, big dick sniper, sniper doesn't swing that way, spy the size queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 04:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9960719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Usedtobehmc/pseuds/Usedtobehmc
Summary: Spy has a proposition for Sniper.  Sniper is skeptical.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on Tumblr two years ago. I swore if I made it to 1500 subscribers I'd write chapter two. Less than 100 to go!

 

 

“Are you… are you out of your god damned _mind_??”  

Spy sighed: he’d expected this.  “Come now, bushman.  Not such an odd request, is it?  I make no secret of the fact that I’m not interested in _women_ …”

“This is a joke.  Some loony joke, and I get it.  Haha, it’s very funny, now move on.”  Sniper turns back to his desk where his rifle lays disassembled so he may clean it.  It had been a very peaceful evening until Spy stopped by his room with the strangest suggestion he’d ever heard in his life.  

A blow-job.  No strings attached. 

“Not a joke, I’m completely serious.”   _Time to turn on that famous charm_ , he thinks.  “I will be honest, I snuck a glance at you last week in the showers,” his voice goes very soft, almost bashful.  An affectation obviously; Spy can’t remember the last time something sexual in nature made him embarrassed.

Sniper whirls around and shoots another death-glare in his direction.  

“Well, the first time it was an accident.  The second, third and fourth time, however.”  The corners of his mouth quirk up.  He makes sure the door to Sniper’s room is firmly shut behind him and carefully crosses the room to sit on the foot of Sniper’s bed.  “I’ve been driven to distraction ever since.”

“Oh please, this is unbelievable even for you–”

“You must be aware that you are… _larger_ than most men.  At least proportionally.”  He takes out a cigarette and lights it, trying to keep the tremor out of his hands.  He hopes this works or he’ll be left with his own hand and imagination for the rest of his contract with RED.  

Sniper makes a ‘pft’ noise and turns back to his rifle.  “Flattery will get you nowhere, mate.”

“It’s only flattery if it’s not true.”

“It’s flattery when you want something in return.  What exactly could you possibly get out of this, other than blackmail material that could get me sacked?”

“Mmmm,” Spy thought for a moment, leaning over until he could lie sideways on the bed.  He takes a long drag from his cigarette and lets the ashes fall to the floor.  “Satisfaction.”

Sniper drops his tools in frustration and turns in his chair.  “You realize I don’t swing that way.”

“A mouth is a mouth.”  A twinge of excitement sparks in his stomach; this may actually work.  Adrenaline starts to pump into his veins.

Sniper stares him over the tops of his sunglasses.  “Just a blow-job?”

“Only a blow-job.  And I’ll never tell a soul.”

It’s obvious that Sniper’s mind is racing, thinking of all the ways that this could possibly turn around and bite him in the ass.  It’s also obvious that his libido is winning out over common sense; the urge to have someone suck him off after a year-long dry spell is beating his reservations to death.  

“Right now?”

Spy looks around.  “As good a time as any.”  The silent celebration in his mind involves fireworks, high-pitched screaming, and dancing.  

Sniper drums his fingers on his legs.  He looks nervous and a bead of sweat has formed at one of his temples.  “No funny business.”

“Moi?”

“Shaddup.  You keep your fingers strictly to my _exterior_ , got it?”

Spy can’t help but snort with laughter at that.  “Bad experience with a girlfriend, I take it?  Or was it a prostitute?”  

Sniper is not laughing.  He stands and Spy quickly leans over to stub out his cigarette in the ash tray on the bedside table.  He tries not to look too excited but the truth is he’s halfway to hard already at the idea of getting his hands on Sniper’s cock.  He pats the bed and slides to the floor, snatching Sniper’s pillow for his knees.  

“This is bloody weird,” the tall Australian sits, reaching for the button of his trousers.  

“Just close your eyes and relax, it will feel amazing, I promise.”

“You…” Sniper starts to speak, most likely another stipulation to their agreement, but his thoughts and voice fade away when Spy pulls his leather gloves off and bare fingers set to work on the zipper.  

He can practically hear Sniper mentally shrug off his reservations and takes that as his cue to get this show on the road.  He tugs at Sniper’s legs until he sits perched at the very edge of the bed and tries not to be too sensual about pulling those tight trousers down while Sniper leans back on his elbows.  It was simply good fortune that Sniper wasn’t wearing shoes, and the pants come off quickly and easily.

Oh, there it is.  Positively mouth-watering.  And Sniper isn’t even fully hard yet, the focus of Spy’s affection lays half limp against the marksman’s hip.  He makes Sniper spread his legs as wide as they will go, and shuffles forward on his knees.

There is obvious reverence in how he lays a hand over Sniper’s cock and wraps his fingers around it.  

It’s just big: huge, even.  

“Mon Dieu, have you measured it?”  Spy breathes, forgetting himself.

Sniper groans at the idea of having to speak.  “23 centimeters.”

“Hard?”

“Of course bloody hard.  Who measures soft??”

Hearing the number does something funny to Spy’s brain and his eyes roll back as he makes an undignified sound.  He wraps both hands around the beautiful cock and attacks it with his lips and tongue.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Sniper hisses and falls back flat on the bed with a shudder.  

Spy starts with rapid-fire kisses up and down that shaft, just pressing his lips to every inch.  He gets a feel for the weight of it in his hands, the girth of it.  He lets his tongue hang out and drags it slowly from base to tip, feeling the vein bulge.  He repeats this about 10 more times, getting Sniper slick with spit is no small feat.  He savors the taste of such a beautiful specimen, smacking his lips obscenely with every pass.

Finally there’s enough slickness that his hands can really go to work without causing discomfort.  He holds the base with his left hand while his right works the head, flicking and squeezing just firmly enough that Sniper’s hips jump.  

This cock is perfect and he can’t believe his luck as he continues to lick and kiss up and down the massive length.  It’s finally straining and flushed and hot in his hands.  

Spy yanks off his mask because it’s far too hot and itchy on his skin; he simply can’t perform with it in his way.  With no barrier between him and the object of his affection, he nuzzles the perfect length.  He draws the velvety soft head across his cheeks and lips, nosing at the frenulum as his tongue, and he hears Sniper’s small noise of disbelief.  When Spy looks, they make very brief eye contact before Sniper looks away again, embarrassed.  But his face has gone beet red and he’s breathing heavily; Spy doesn’t have high hopes for the man’s stamina, but he’ll take what he can get.  

That being said, he’s reached the end of his patience, and straightens his back.  He points that beautiful cock towards his mouth and plunges downward, getting a good six inches down before he has to stop.  Sniper gasps like he’s been punched and curls up slightly with the shock of it.  

Spy gets a nice rhythm going, up down up down, sucking a little harder at the tip and lashing his tongue around whatever it can reach.  He’s drooling; spit runs down Sniper’s length until it reaches and clings to the hair that surrounds the base.  With every fourth or fifth pass of his tongue over the tip, a bead of precome accumulates and he laps it up like a personal reward.  He stays there for a bit, utilizing the point of his tongue to tease the slit while Sniper moans and clutches as his bedsheets.  

Spy knows the signs, it’s obvious that Sniper is not going to last very long (not that he can blame the man) so he sticks with long deep sucks, bobbing his head while his hands work the base, twisting and squeezing and spreading the slickness around to get that magically perfect slippery feeling.  

The desperation in Sniper’s voice grows, his moans get higher in pitch.  The cock in Spy’s hands twitches and strains and that’s when Spy pulls out his special move.  Not a move recommended for amateurs or first-timers; luckily, Spy is a far cry from either.  He takes a deep breath, angles his neck, relaxes his throat…

And takes Sniper’s cock down all the way to the hilt.

Sniper convulses violently on the bed, his voice breaks.  “Oh GOD, _FUCK_ –” 

And that’s all the warning Spy gets before Sniper is shooting down his throat in powerful pulses; his face twisted into a tortured expression of bliss bordering on a perfect, indescribable pain.  Spy backs off just enough to take the load and swallow without choking, coaxing every last drop from Sniper’s 9-inch cock with long, hard strokes to the shaft.  He suckles at the head, cleaning the remains of orgasm from the slit while Sniper comes down from the high, shivering with aftershocks.  

Spy’s brain feels fuzzy and clouded with absolute satisfaction and bliss.  But he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome (and ruin any chances he has of getting to do this again) so he releases Sniper from his mouth with a pop and lets it come to a rest against his hip again.  He stands and puts his mask back on, then reaches for his gloves.  He ignores his own raging erection for the moment.  Now is not the time or place.  

Sniper looks a bit like he’s been hit by three trucks.  He lays absolutely flattened on the bed, a shocked expression stuck to his features.  He really is quite handsome, Spy thinks.  Unfortunate underbite and all.  

“No one…” Sniper clears his throat, trying to find his voice again.  “Usually I’m too big to… No one’s ever…”

Spy shrugs and takes a little bow.  “My unparalleled skills, monsieur.  I’m off.  Thank-you for indulging me.”

Sniper lifts a hand in mock-salute.  “My pleasure.”  Spy notices the flicker of a smile.  He’ll take that as a good sign.

He’ll push his luck and ask for more on another day.  He’ll give Sniper a few days to think about what happened: a few days to grow hungry for more.

Until then, he’s going to masturbate until he passes out.

 

.


End file.
